I have news.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You already know that I'm pregnant, so that's not it. 

And no, I'm not having octuplets, there's only room enough for one Nadya Suleman (her interview tonight with Ann Curry should be so interesting!).

No, my non-maternal souls, I am moving!

And you're coming with me.

Okay, settle down. Before you pack your skis and sunglasses (because why wouldn't I move to beautiful Colorado), please join me at my new site, drum roll, please . . .

Whoa, baby, that's enough, stop banging that clunky, plastic toy against the hardwood, you're giving mommy a headache (not hard to do when you're knocked up). I know, baby, I said, "drum roll," but that's enough.

Okay, baby, that's ENOUGH! And this is when I call him by his full name, "FIRST. MIDDLE. LAST."

And because he's still banging, this is when I curse my parents who bought him this stupid toy.

And this is when I smash the toy against the wall and flush the pieces down the toilet. 

Phew, silence, much better. I should never have asked for the drum roll.

Oh, right, please join me at:

And click on the link non-maternal for all the non-maternal fun!

P.S. Dear Lord, My deepest apologies for clogging up the landfill with yet another toxic plastic toy. 


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